Sunday, July 23, 2017

“Lesson Learned, Freedom Found”

Because of my nature, personality, and "reputation" as an outgoing, funny, "people person", it use to be hard for me to let people go in a relationship. Haunted by insecurity, and driven by their validation and acceptance, I found myself continually trying to be what people expected me to be in order to be liked & approved. Talk about an epic identity crisis! For years, this relational mindset had detrimental and destructive effects on my journey into realizing my identity in Christ and the freedom of His Grace & Love. I continually tried to maintain and preserve relationships--even through a sort of "life support", when in fact the plug should've been pulled long before--, always posturing to control the opinions and outside perspective of me from others. Through the years I discovered that many times I did this NOT to solidify and deepen the relationships with people, but only to preserve my image in their eyes and make me out to be the "good guy", faithful friend, and long-suffering compadre'. This would create in me a sense of obligation to continue to try and maintain these relationships, including those which were draining, needy, controlling, and mostly one-sided. What I finally realized is that I could never truly love people as long as I was concerned with their perspective and opinions of me. All my relational decisions would be manipulated for the benefit of my own self preservation. Genuine love cannot grow in that kind of environment. This went on for years, until the Grace of God helped me accept and understand that some people are just not meant to walk with you for very long on your journey, and much less into your destiny with you. Many of them may only see you and relate to you in a certain way, and as you progress and develop into your identity, purpose, and the person God created you to be, they often times no longer relate to where you are and who you are becoming. When you cease to be what they need you to be in the relationship, they no longer consider you relevant. God has helped me see that "seasonal" people cannot be forced into anything more, regardless of how "letting them go" might "soil" your reputation as a "friend". You don't need to take this personally! There is an amazing freedom now, freedom to live in unforced rhythms of Grace, allowing my life to flow from my intimate connection to God through Christ! Relationships don't have to be contrived. They flow naturally from our Life in Christ! Not everyone is gonna validate you, celebrate you, walk with you, understand you, or even like you! That's fine! In Christ, we are perfectly accepted, loved, and validated, and that's what really matters! So, I've had to let some people walk right out of my life, and others, I've even been kind enough to eagerly show them the door out of my life personally. Of course, I wish them the best as they find their way in Grace, and I hold no bitterness! Your value is not decided by the opinions of others, and your significance in life isn't determined by anything other than the Love of your Creator, and His heart toward you! Accept that, rest in that, keep your eyes on Him, and open your heart to the amazing Life that Jesus came to give you! And people, well, God will lead you to them, and also lead them to you as opportunities to share His Love, His community, His Grace, His Life, and His Heart with them, some for a season, some for a day, some for a moment, and even a few for a lifetime! Let Him orchestrate your steps and your relationships! May this encourage you, who may struggle for validation, acceptance, and purpose, looking for it in the approval of other people. I pray you experience the freedom that comes through seeing your worth and value in Christ alone, and you discover that nothing can change His heart of Love for you! You are unique, perfectly loved & accepted by God in Christ! THAT'S what defines you, and makes YOU PRICELESS! Journey on!

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